PANTS

The bulge you don’t want in your pants

PANTSI can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking around a new city and suddenly seen an amazing adventure almost out of reach. An abandoned theme park (one of my favorites), a hill with an amazing view, or even a playground in the middle of the night with only an old fence between us and laughing as we have a competition to see who can swing higher.

It’s moments like these that I’m glad I don’t have a massive bag behind me, anchoring me into looking longingly at the fun that is tantalizingly close before sulking off into a touristy bar somewhere. I find the nearest gap in the fence and squeeze through to the adventure, because nothing is weighing me down. I wouldn’t be able to make that tight gap if I had a massive wallet full of membership cards and receipts jammed into my back pocket, and you shouldn’t be kept from the best parts of adventures because of it, either.

Don’t be fooled by the tons of wallets claiming to be The World’s Smallest. I’ve gone through dozens of them, and most of them are no better than the slabs of leather your average suburb-dweller had throwing his spine into a question mark. One even had the audacity to be a half-inch-thick hunk of plastic, which had me staring in disbelief.

The thinnest wallet EVER!There’s only one smallest, and that’s because you can’t physically get any thinner than being made out of ripstop nylon. The money and cards you put in give it structure, not sheets of leather. This is how ALL-ETT makes theirs, and it is the only one that deserves the claim of “smallest”.

You will get looks when you pull out this bad boy. You will get questions. They will insist it doesn’t hold everything, or that it is flimsy. I have cash (sorted in different pockets), 8 cards, and a gift receipt I really need to cash in, and it’s still about as thin as a dime. After years of mine getting put through the most ridiculous situations and keeping everything safe, I can assure you neither of these is true. I’ve had pants that didn’t hold up to the chain-link fences and broken concrete walls I was sliding around, but this champ stayed strong.

Don’t fool around with a big hunk of cow in your pocket. Get this sleek piece of beauty and get into more adventures.

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